I tried Tinder, Hinge and Bumble simultaneously & the results were lols

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Ahhh online dating. If you persevere through the endless streams of headless, shirtless torsos (aka I’m a f*ckboy) group photos (aka I’m ugly) and this really fun game I like to call ‘can you use a preposition’ (because ‘Let’s go Nandos’ is grammatically unacceptable) you might just find the one. But it really is a minefield out there.

Now, I dislike dating apps (can ya tell?) but a) it’s getting cold and b) the occasional free dinner wouldn’t go amiss #HelpMeImPoor so, one Sunday night I took a sip of wine, muttered ‘screw it’ under my breath and downloaded not one, not two but three of these apps. All in the name of journalism, of course.

Here’s a selection of suitors I met during my time, and yes, they are all 100% real conversations had by me🙃

The impatient eyebrow guy

The DTF guy

The ‘Is he okay’ guy

The WTF guy

The guy I went back to when I got desperate

The guy who was too desperate

The demanding guy

The guy I played Tinder Roulette with

The punny guy

The guy I liked for his cat

The guy who fully misunderstood

The ‘would I make it out of the date alive’ guy

Another eyebrow guy

The guy who fancies my mum

The guy who’s a whole meal

The guy who made me quit Tinder