Oh McDonald’s, how we love you. You’re the king of fast food and always there for us – for rushed lunches and late night drive thru’s, for a post-night out 3am snack and for the hangover the next day.
So, we decided to rank the entire menu, because why not? Besides, we’ve already ranked the menu of Pizza Express, Nando’s and TGI Fridays so we thought it would be rude to leave our beloved Macca’s out.
For fairness we’ve ranked everything on the menu according to the different section, because how can you compare a McMuffin to a McFlurry? You just can’t. Plus, we’ve only ranked items from the permanent core menu and left out the drinks because everyone knows what a drink tastes like and they’re the least interesting items on the menu. So which items made it to the top of our ranking? Time to find out…
14. Quaker Oats
Literally why would you go to McDonald’s for breakfast and order something you could pick up in a supermarket?
13. Pancakes and Syrup
They’re not great, we think they look and taste a bit sad. There are much better pancakes available elsewhere.
12. Pancakes and Syrup with Sausage
We wish it was bacon instead of sausage, but the addition of a sausage patty only improves this dish slightly.
11. Bacon Roll
Kind of underwhelming tbh. There are much better options for breakfast on the menu.
10. Sausage and Egg Bagel
Quite a nice alternative to a McMuffin, although we find the bagel a bit stodgy compared to the lighter muffin.
9. Sausage, Egg and Cheese Bagel
See above. Improved by the addition of McDonalds’ weird plastic cheese which we have a guilty pleasure for.
8. Cheesy Bacon Flatbread
Again, an interesting alternative to a McMuffin and less stodgy than a bagel. The only thing we don’t like is the slightly greasy nature of it.
7. Egg and Cheese McMuffin
McDonald’s McMuffins are great breakfasts, and cheese and egg is a classic combo.
6. Breakfast Wrap
A great budget option, it’s got all the makings of a great all-day brekkie inside – including our beloved hash brown.
5. Bacon and Egg McMuffin
Bacon makes everything better. Always add bacon.
4. Sausage and Egg McMuffin
We slightly prefer the sausage patty to Macca’s bacon – controversial opinion. It just feels less greasy and more substantial than slices of bacon.
3. Double Bacon and Egg Muffin
Same as above, the only thing that makes it better is double the amount of sausage.
2. Double Sausage, Egg and Cheese McMuffin
By far the best proper breakfast item, it has the perfect proportion of sausage patty, egg and cheese all inside a light muffin. A great treat breakfast.
- Hash Brown
We’re not going to lie, we could happily eat a breakfast made up entirely of only hash browns; sometimes we even dream about them. They might even be the best thing on the entire Maccas menu, we just wish they were available all day.
Burgers and chicken
It wouldn’t be our first choice but it’s not the worst thing on the McDonald’s menu, the combination of sweet bread, plastic cheese and fish is just a bit weird tbh.
13. Vegetable Deluxe
A rogue choice you might think, but surprisingly delicious. Instead of a meat patty, this burger has a falafel style patty with fresh salad and actual cucumber. Plus, because literally no one orders this you’re always guaranteed freshness.
12. Mayo Chicken
We have nothing against the Mayo Chicken, it’s served us well when we couldn’t afford a McChicken Sandwich. A classic and delicious combination.
You can’t go wrong with a classic Maccas hamburger. Fact.
10. Spicy Vegetable Deluxe
The addition of sweet chilli sauce makes this much better than the original Vegetable Deluxe. Not really spicy at all though.
The only thing that makes a classic hamburger better is a slice of plasticy cheese.
8. Double Cheeseburger
And the only thing that improves a classic cheeseburger is double the cheeseburger!
7. Chicken Legend
Crispy chicken, a choice of sauces, lettuce and real bread = delish. It’s a legend for a reason.
6. Quarter Pounder with Cheese
One for the meat lovers, it has the perfect ratio of patty to cheese and the gherkins, onions and ketchup make it irresistible.
5. Chicken Selects
Real chicken! These little babies are highly underrated in our opinion; the coating is perfection and they come with a great choice of sauces.
4. Bacon Double Cheeseburger
Obviously bacon makes everything better, so adding bacon to an already great burger can only push it further up the rankings.
3. McChicken Sandwich
A true classic. Scrummy crispy chicken, shredded lettuce, tangy mayo and a sesame bun make for something truly special. The McChicken Sandwich will always hold a special place in our hearts.
2. Chicken Nuggets
Yes we know they’re not real chicken, and no we don’t care. Chicken Nuggets are life, we could literally eat them all day everyday.
- Big Mac
You’re a winner baby. The Big Mac is the ultimate McDonald’s burger and it can’t be beaten. It’s got the perfect ratio of burger, bun, cheese and lettuce, plus the top secret Big Mac sauce literally makes this burger.
3. Shaker Side Salad
Literally just a cup of leaves. Nothing more to say.
2. Carrot Sticks
Carrot sticks only top the shaker salad because they have more texture and taste – but seriously – who goes to McDonald’s and orders carrot sticks?
If you went to McDonald’s and didn’t order fries, did you even go? The king of the sides, Maccas fries are the perfect accompaniment to pretty much everything else on the menu. They’re not the same since they reduced the salt content, but we won’t dwell on that…
Honorary mention: Mozzarella Dippers
Obviously we all know the real winner of best side dish are the Mozzarella Dippers, but alas, the cruel people at McDonald’s haven’t added them to the permanent menu so therefore we cannot include them (officially) in our ranking *sobs*.
Wraps and Salads
7. Grilled Chicken and Bacon Salad
Seriously who goes to McDonald’s and orders a salad? Sure it’s ‘healthy’ but its pretty bland and a bit sad. Sorry not sorry.
6. Crispy Chicken Salad
Again, still a sad salad. This one is made slightly better with the addition of crispy chicken.
5. Crispy Chicken and Bacon Salad
See above. Although this one contains bacon as well, and as we all know, bacon makes everything better.
4. Sweet Chilli Chicken Wrap
We’re pretty partial to a McDonald’s wrap and this one is no exception. Sweet chilli and crispy chicken are a winning combo.
3. BBQ Chicken Wrap
Yep, we love BBQ sauce and it goes really well with crispy chicken.
2. Spicy Chicken Wrap
Slightly more delicious than the BBQ chicken wrap, although we wish it was spicier.
- Garlic Mayo Chicken Wrap
In our humble opinion this is the best wrap; it’s simple and delicious and perfect for eating at pretty much any time of day.
13. Apple and Grape Fruit Bag
We have nothing against these fruits, but if you’re going to McDonald’s for a dessert, why on earth would you choose a very bland bag of fruit?
12. Blueberry Muffin
We never really go for the bakery items from McDonald’s but the blueberry muffin is actually pretty good. Nevertheless, if we wanted a muffin we probs wouldn’t get one from Maccas.
11. Sugar Donut
It’s an ok donut, but there are much better desserts on offer. Again, if we wanted a donut we’d go to Krispy Kreme.
10. Triple Chocolate Cookie
A pretty decent cookie, not much else to say.
9. Chocolate Muffin
You can’t go wrong with a chocolate muffin.
8. Chocolate Donut
Slightly better than the sugar donut but not the best dessert on offer.
7. Ice Cream Cone
A decent cone and decent soft serve, not as good as a classic Mr Whippy but pretty good. The only thing that could improve it is a chocolate flake.
6. Toffee Sundae
It’s a bit of a sugar overload but it tastes so good. The perfect budget dessert.
5. Apple Pie
Sure, it might give you third degree burns while biting into it, but it’s a McDonald’s classic and it cannot be ignored. Plus, it’s weirdly tasty.
4. Dairy Milk McFlurry
McFlurries are the king of McDonald’s desserts, and who doesn’t like ice cream? Classic Dairy Milk makes for a yummy combo with vanilla ice cream
3. Smarties McFlurry
A childhood classic, Smarties are highly underrated as a sweet in general but the combination of McFlurry ice cream and Smarties is so delish.
2. Crunchie McFlurry
Now you’re talking; Crunchie honeycomb and chocolate swirled into McFlurry ice cream – the crunchy texture makes it even better.
- Oreo McFlurry
Bow down to the best McDonald’s dessert. Hands down one of the best desserts ever tbh. We’ll take two please.