Bikini waxing tends to be pretty awkward for everyone involved; you’ve got your overgrown lady-parts out in front of a complete stranger for crying out loud. But, once you get over the initial weirdness of the whole situation, things usually turn out okay and you leave the salon feeling smooth, sassy and ready to take on the world. Usually.
However, things don’t always go smoothly, as evidenced by these waxing horror stories. We asked the women we knew for their weirdest/funniest/most traumatic waxing experiences, and they did not disappoint. (All names have been withheld for privacy purposes!) After reading these, we’ll never complain about our monthly wax appointment again. Ever.
“I know getting a bikini wax on your period isn’t ideal, but there was a serious situation going on down there and I had a holiday booked, so I decided to take the plunge. The salon assured me that it was fine to have a wax on your period, just as long as you had a tampon in, mentioned it to your therapist and also were prepared for a slightly more painful sensation. Anyway, when I arrived in the treatment room I was so nervous that I forgot to let my therapist know I had a tampon in; this was a terrible, terrible mistake. The therapist smoothed the first strip on, tore it off and to my horror, tore my tampon out with it. There it was above me, dangling from the hairy strip of wax in the therapists hand. She left the room to allow me to sort myself out and then came back in and carried the treatment on as normal. I am permanently scarred and haven’t had a wax since…”
“I booked a Hollywood wax at a salon I’d never visited before. Everything seemed fine at first, and a lady greeted me at the door saying “I’ll be your therapist for the day”. She led me into a dark room and started to remove my makeup and massage my face, all the while playing calming music in the background. She told me to fully undress and put on a gown – I was pretty confused but thought it might just be a new service they were offering.
Then the lady asked me to lie down on my front, not exactly an easy position to get a Hollywood wax, so I nervously double-checked “we’re doing a Hollywood today, right?”
My therapist fully freaked out and apologised as apparently I’d been put down for a massage. LOL. It wasn’t all bad though, as she gave me money off in the end, plus, the calming music wasn’t a bad addition…”
“My waxing lady is great; she always gets the job done in under 10 minutes and makes the whole thing as painless as possible for me. She also always, without fail, asks if i’ve been squatting a lot that month. I’m not sure if I feel more weirded out or complimented by this – nonetheless I go back every month….”
“I’ve always gone to salons for bikini waxes, but one day I was complaining to my friend about how expensive they were, so she recommended me a mobile therapist, who was much cheaper. The lady came to my house and the wax went smoothly until the very end where she held a mirror to my vajayjay and invited me to take a look at the finished product. I get that she was proud of her work, but I just wasn’t ready for my close-up…”
“I’m a beauty therapist, so i’ve had my fair share of weird experiences, but this one tops the lot. I had a conservative looking lady come in asking for a Hollywood wax; she said almost nothing to me when I greeted her, apart from telling me that any bruises I saw were consensual, so I wasn’t to worry. This would’ve been fine, but she continued to talk about her bruised pelvis throughout the appointment, including statements such as:
‘How many bruises are down there? Can you count them?’
‘I am going to be so much worse after tonight.’”
“The first time I got a Hollywood wax, the woman asked me if I wanted my bum waxed, too. I figured why not, since it was all included in the price. Anyway, she asked me to lie on my front and for some reason I got the uncontrollable giggles. She had to stop and wait for me to calm down, but as soon as she re-started I descended into fits of laughter again. Tears were literally rolling down my cheeks and I’ve said no to the butt wax ever since.”